This morning I am proud.

I am proud of myself, for my writing, for my ideas, for my determination to see this through. I am proud of myself for thinking up Damnation Kane, for making the story and the character what they are: interesting enough to draw people in, good enough to keep them reading. I am proud of myself for giving myself writing deadlines and sticking to them. I am proud that I wrote this book. I am proud of myself for not pushing it aside when it wasn’t immediately successful. I am proud that I rewrote the book, added another 25% of new content, and then re-edited, re-formatted, and did everything else needed to make it publishable. I’m proud I looked into getting a booth at the festival, did the paperwork, paid the fee, and got everything set up so that I would have a good display and a good pitch. I’m proud that I was there both days, that I advertised to friends and coworkers and students, I’m proud that I sold out of books when there was only 40 minutes left on the second day, so I know I brought a good amount. I’m proud that I set a price that didn’t drive people away, that did make them pause for a moment (so I know it wasn’t too low), but that covered all of my expenses and even made me a profit.

I’m SO proud of my friend and colleague, Lisa Watson, for doing everything with me, especially when the books she was sharing are so much more personal: they are her lifetime of poetry, back to when she was a high school student, and they are as vulnerable and revealing as poetry always is, and she sold them to strangers, again and again and again. And then when she ran out of books to sell, she stayed in the booth just to support me while I kept selling. Even more than all of that, I’m proud of her for writing, for writing poetry, for writing beautiful poetry, for writing for all of her life, and for still writing.

I’m proud of our friend and fellow teacher Adriana King, for being the unstoppable force of organization and salesmanship, for creating a new business entirely herself, for putting together incredible, wonderfully professional materials, for working that fair for two days through sunburn and backache, for connecting with every author she could, for making contacts and getting leads, for being an inspiring entrepreneur. And for mastering the art of subtle business card handoffs. And for bringing a red Swingline stapler.

I am proud that I have done enough to win and deserve and keep the love of a woman like my wife. The only feeling deeper and larger than my pride is my gratitude to her for all that she gave me and all that she did for me that made all of this possible, every step of it. And the only feeling deeper and stronger than my gratitude to her is my love for her.

We won. And I am proud.

Now we have to do it again.