#1: “I feel bad when I have a cold when I go to the doctor. I don’t want to get germs all over them.”
#2: The other night she shuffled slowly from the living room into the kitchen, set herself, drew back one slippered foot, and then gently kicked me – really more of a boof – in the shin. Then she said “You called me a poop. Don’t call me a poop.” (Actually what I had called her was Poopzilla.) I hung my head, laughing, and said, “Consider me properly chastised.” She nodded, said, “Okay,” and shuffled away.

She doesn’t wear curlers, actually. I just like the image.
#3: Speaking of her students: “If I don’t keep spewing a steady stream of hatred towards them, they just want to talk to me.”
#4: Speaking to a student:
Student: “My brother moved to Utah.”
Jokingly: “Utah? Why, to become a Mormon?”
Student (baffled): “We’re Mexican. We can’t be Mormons.”
